How to stop doing sh*t you hate and start creating a life you loveFeb 11, 2021
Imagine how different you would feel if you actually looked forward to going to work in the morning. Imagine what it would be like if you were doing work from which you derived a sense of purpose and meaning? How different would you feel about your work? How different would you feel about your life?
Now, hold on to that feeling. Don’t lose it.
What does it feel like? Does it feel light? Or maybe exciting? When you picture yourself, are you happy? Do you feel satisfied? Do you feel full? Perhaps even energized? Wouldn’t you love to go through life feeling more of this?
I’m here to tell you that you absolutely can.
I sometimes wonder when work became just something we do to pay the bills at the expense of our own happiness and wellness. I wonder when we collectively accepted this as a society. I wonder why we continue to choose this for ourselves. When did we begin normalizing doing work we dislike, working for organizations we don’t particularly align with, doing tasks we don’t find stimulating, working for leaders we don't feel supported or appreciated by? When did we start being ok with burning ourselves out for a career or job at the expense of time and energy spent on the people and things that matter most in our life like our family, friends, and our physical and mental health?
We were trained to accept that “this is life”. We were also trained to believe that when we struggle to deal with this way of life, that there is something wrong with us, that we are the problem. The pressure to conform is so heavy that fighting and questioning it becomes tedious, especially when we are already struggling to just get through another day. So, what do we do instead? We don’t question it. We numb our feelings with welcomed distractions and conform.
It’s no wonder our society is sick with rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout constantly on the rise. We aren’t listening to ourselves and our needs. We feel we can’t. The irony here is that we are incredibly fortunate to live in a time where professional opportunity is in abundance. Not only are there a variety of jobs and careers to choose from, we also live in a time where it is literally possible to create the job we want and tailor our lifestyle to our needs and desires. However, most are blind to this reality because they are living on autopilot and have bought into the « this is life » paradigm.
Is this you? Want to know how to turn off the autopilot?
Get curious. That’s it! Allow yourself to dream and explore. Get curious about the possibilities that exist. Get curious about yourself and your choices. Question your way of life. Identify what you could do differently and look for solutions instead of focusing on obstacles. Get curious about what it would take to design a career and life you can get excited about so you can stop doing sh*t you hate.
Below, I share 5 things you can do to cultivate consciousness and self-awareness so you can turn off the autopilot, become an active participant in your own life, and begin designing a career and life that feels right for you.
- Reconnect with your authentic self. Reconnect with the person you were before life taught you who to be, what to think and believe, and how to live your life. Get to know her again. Who is she? What is she like? What does she like? Listen to what she has to say with non-judgement and openness.
- Clarify your values. Values are things that you assign importance to in your life. They are a compass of sorts. When what you do and how you behave align with your values, you will feel satisfied and content. Ask yourself if you're living in alignment with your primary values. If you find that you’re not, determine what changes you need to make to get realigned.
- Identify limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is a belief that you hold that you treat as fact and therefore don’t question it. For example, the « this is life » belief you may have about what it looks like to live and work is a limiting belief. It’s not a fact. Accepting this idea limits you from exploring other possibilities that may exist for you. The best way to identify your limiting beliefs is to evaluate the beliefs that you hold, reality-tests them, and redefine them when necessary.
- Master your mindset. Do you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? In other words, do you believe you are born with all the skills and abilities you will ever possess or do you believe that it’s possible to improve and grow? Also, do you operate from a fear-based mindset or an opportunity-based mindset? For example, when faced with something new, are you more likely to think «what if I fail? » or « what if I succeed? »? Are you more likely to think « I don’t have what it takes » or « what do I need to do/learn to achieve this? » ? Having a growth and opportunity-based mindset is key when it comes to being successful at creating change in your life. If this isn’t you, don’t fret! A positive mindset can be cultivated.
- Get clarity around what you want for yourself personally and professionally. Your career should be an extension of you. As such, you - your personality, values, interests, skills, needs, wants - should be reflected in your work. There should also be balance between your work like and personal life. You should not feel like your work is robbing you, your time or your energy from your life but rather is adding to it.
- Take action. With your new-found clarity, it’s time to start taking small (or big) steps toward creating the change you need and want. While this might mean a complete career and life overhaul for some, for others it can be as straightforward as making simple requests in your current workplace. Change doesn’t always have to be big to have a big impact! Whatever your situation may be, be sure to bring your new mindset with you. It will be key to successfully creating the change you need to design a career and life you love.
Do you need help achieving the career clarity and confidence you need to build the career and life you dream of? I can help.